Lab Results are in...

Our Labs have finally analyzed the alligator leather and have discovered that only a portion (3%) of the leather is in fact aunthetic alligator leather. Below is the makeup of the alligator leather that we discovered in Vernon, Kansas, a while back.

3% - Alligator Skin

47% - Rubber

13% - Silicon

9% - Gum Extract

34% - Corn Meal

3% - Human Flesh

There are only three possibilities to this makeup...

1. The Factory that is making this leather is manufacturing human skin for its ultra sleek shine
2. The Laboratory made a mistake (however this is highly unlikely, so there is no reason to even put this here. 
3. The Factory that is producing this leather is unknowingly using leather from human-alligator hybrids that were created as a result of nuclear testing in Orlando in the 1950's pre-Disney world age, who have migrated to live with their reptilian brethren in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.