Our Theory...the real one.
There are many people who are attributing to the events of Hurricane Sandy to some myth called global warming. Well I'd like to refute those myths and provide you with the cold hard truth.
Hurricane Sandy was the result of a giant Mermaid Orgie that occurred somewhere around Jamaica.
Take a while to consider the facts.
When did Hurricane Sandy Occur? October.
What happens in October? Halloween and Octoberfest.
What happens during Halloween and Octoberfest? Massive Orgies.
Which species of beings is most commonly known for having Orgies? Mermaids.
Where do most Mermaids Live? In Jamaica
What is a common activity in Jamaica? Sex
What happens when people engage in sexual activity? Vibrations
What are Vibrations known to cause? Earthquakes
What happens when Earthquake occur? Tsunamis
What happens when Tsunamis occur in the middle of the oceans? Nothing
What happens when Nothing happens? Something
What happens when something happens? Something
What is that something? It can be anything...
Can that anything be a Tropical Cyclone? Yes
Was that Tropical Cyclone most likely hurricane Sandy? Yes
And their you have it facts cold hard evidence that the cause of Hurricane Sandy was not Global Warming but Mermaids. So the next time you see Richard Nixons head in the Museum of Ancient Celebrities and scold him for not raising proper awareness about Global Warming, when Mother Nature started hating us in the early 70's for trying to become one with the gardens and shit when clearly she didn't want that, you should think twice, and instead scold him for not raising proper awareness about mermaid sexual conducts and banning the education of safe sex to children in school who would grow into mermaids have way too many children cause large orgies and eventually cause massive hurricanes that would cost thousands of dollars.
I bet you are regretting all that decision now Nixon. I bet you are.
