Nicholas Cage
First is Nicholas Cage a truly Paradoxical Character, Nicholas Cage never ages and never makes good movies (with the exception of Ghost Rider). There is only one simple reason to back this theory up, he is a vampire.
Tom Cruise
Ever wonder why Tom Cruise is always running in his movies. Common assumption is that he is a closeted homosexual and he needs to run away from his gay thoughts that periodically plague. But this is in fact untrue. Tom Cruise is not a Homosexual, or a Hetrosexual, or even Asexual. Tom Cruise is actually a cheetah. Tom Cruise made a deal with the devil in the early 80's to be the coolest man alive but the devil being the devil tricked him and in turn, turned him into a cheetah. The Tom Cruise we see today is not Tom Cruise but some Cheetah. Evidently this also explains why he is so attracted to Scientology.
People of representation of Mr. Thomas Mapother Cruise Jr, we are just the messenger relaying the facts.
Sincerely,
Horace Stepp PI and Associates.